F.B. & I had our Tagaytay Trip on Wednesday (12-31-06). The way up to Tagaytay is about 2 hours, it's up in the mountains. Saw tonnnns of palm trees, and tons of pineapple fields, they are so neat looking, spikey plants growing out of the ground, with little baby pineapples growing off the plants. We were up in Tagaytay from the 27th-29th.

We stayed at the Taal Vista Hotel. It wasn't quite at nice as the Best Western in Makati City, even though it was more expensive. The hotel in Tagaytay was more like a campus. The check in and reception halls weren't even attached to the rest of the hotel. The room part was kinda across the parking lot. F.B. & I had trouble finding our room at first, he asked someone and they were like, "I don't know." Our room was a little smaller than the Best Western, but still nice. The bathroom was bigger, but the shower was more narrow and slippery, bruised my leg up good, haha. And when we left the 'Make up room' sign on the door, and we came back later I said, "Hey we got clean towels!" But it turned out they just folded up the wet towels we had already used?!

We took lot's of pretty pictures of Lake Taal & the Taal Volcano. It was quite windy up in the mountains and much colder at night time. F & I drove around Tagaytay, up into the mountains... wayyyy up into the mountains. It looked foggy, but it was only because we were so high up it was like we were in the clouds. We were on this little narrow winding road, where there were no buildings or anything, and you could see down the mountain side. There's this sky park, where you can take a shuttle up into the mountains, but the road was really steep... and I was scared, hah, so we just drove around instead. Not so much to do up around in Tagaytay though. It's a smaller city. Lot's of places to eat around there though. We had lunch & dinner out in Tagaytay.

I came down with a sipon (cold) while we were there though. My throat was a bit scratchy before we left for Tagaytay but the next morning my throat was all sore & swollen and my nose was stuffy and runny.F.B. & I found a drugstore and got me some medicine. I'm still a bit sick, so we'll have to pick up some more at the drugstore tomorrow. We just kinda hung around at the hotel.

Tomorrow is F.B's mom's wedding anniversary, so I am taking, his mom, sister & him out to this Japanese Buffet place at one of the malls. And if we have time we may stop at a mall close to his house, so I can visit this clothing store & souvenir shop I like.

Here's some photo's from our Tagaytay trip. On the way up to Tagaytay & The hotel:

F.B. & I out back of the hotel where you can see Lake Taal & the Volcano:

F could have pushed me over the wall... but he didn't... aren't I lucky? Tee hee...

More of us:

It was kinda sunny out and we were squinting, haha:

Lake Taal & Taal Volcano:

At the hotel:

In the car (F says I looks Lasing... (drunk...) lol! It's the sun I swear!) & out to eat... and look... they have Banana Ketchup... it's pretty good, they just color it red, haha:

12-31-2006: Today F & I stopped at the mall earlier today & then later in the evening, we took his family out for dinner. It was his mom's wedding anniversary. We went Saisaki, a Japanese Buffet at one of the malls. I had some sushi there, haha. My favorite kind without raw fish, but then some with raw salmon. And other food..I tried quail eggs too... haha. They were like tiny hard boiled eggs. F & I only had two plates each though, and we were full, haha. I only have two pictures. One was at F's house. And the other his sister took of us at the buffet place. They gave away these goofy little stuffed dogs when someone ordered iced tea, so I got F's, haha. He was a purple dog.



F.B. got me a pair of jeans at my favorite store 'Kamiseta' at the mall here in the Philippines. They have rhinestones on the back pockets. I love that store, I'm a small in jeans there, hehe. Tomorrow (Er... today, it's 1am.) is New Years Eve. We're going to church around 9pm, and then having a little dinner thing back at the house here for New Years. F said it's going to sound like a war zone, with all the firecrackers and stuff. It will be 2007 here at 12am- when it's only 11am on New Years Eve Day at home.... and still 2006... weird... haha.

F.B. got a sign on his door now and we took a picture, heehee:

Christmas in the Philippines 2006:

Been in the Philippines almost 2 weeks now. On Christmas Eve, F's family has the Filipino tradition of 'Noche Buena'. Where at 12 midnight they have a Christmas dinner and exchange gifts. We went to the church, but there were so many people we were outside- it's an open kinda church so you could hear stuff, but we got tired standing for awhile and sat in the car with the windows rolled down, we could still kinda hear stuff. Then when we got back to F.B.'s house we exchanged gifts and took pictures. And then we had dinner.

Christmas we went to the Mall of Asia again and had lunch with his family. But F & I went home after lunch, we've been to the Mall of Asia 3 times now. We hung out here at his house and watched Titanic & Back to the Future, and had dinner.

Tomorrow I'm taking F out to lunch at Friday's, and then we are going to do some shopping at the supermarket & get some snacks to take to the hotel with us up in Tagaytay- we were having midnight "picnic's" when we were at the hotel in Makati City. So, Wednesday we will be heading up to the hotel in Tagaytay and coming home on the 29th. It's F.B.'s mom's anniversary on the 30th so I'm taking his family out for a buffet dinner.

Here are some new pictures:

The sign F's mom made for me- that I saw when I was at the airport. It's hanging on his sister's bedroom door for now, since I'm using the room:


F got me this cute pink Adidas bag for Christmas at the Adidas store in Greenbelt in Makati City:


Me in the doorway on Christmas Eve:


F & I exchanging Christmas Gifts:





They made us kiss for the camera... ewwwww! hahahahaha!


F.B. gave me a purty ring for Christmas:


Us on Christmas Eve before church:


MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

*~Sarah~*

This post is 13 hours behind... it's really 2:15 am on 12-26 as I'm writing this... lol!

12-27-2006:

F.B. & I went to Friday's for lunch this afternoon. I treated him, this time. Friday's is my favorite place to eat at home, so I wanted to try it in the Philippines. It's pretty much the same, just a few different menu items. I had some chicken fingers & F had some fish and we shared onion rings & my margarita which made me a bit... hilo... (dizzy.) Then we shared dessert. We ate too much... ackkkk I was so full tonight. Then we stopped at the mall to pick up some stuff for our trip to Tagaytay. We are leaving tomorrow around 11pm or so, because check in up at Taal Vista Hotel is 2pm. We'll be heading back to F's house on the 29th. Here's some newer pictures:

My margarita... it made me a bit dizzy, lol... and they don't even card you at the Friday's in the Philippines:


Our dessert we shared.... yum. haha:


Me in F.B.'s car, while he checked the air in the car tires:


Called my family last night to wish them a Merry Christmas. It was 12pm there on Christmas day & about 1am on the 26th when I called. Mom said "F's a true gentleman." Let's see.... he opens the car door for me... and if I try to get out myself he complains. He buckles my seatbelt for me sometimes. I have to force him to pay for movies or lunch sometimes... bad boy. He cuts my meat for me sometimes, if I can't get it... then we feed each other sometimes too... hehehehehe. He wakes me up in the mornings, though the first morning he turned on the light and blinded me. And he's just my guwapo guwapo silly corny boyfriend.... and I love him.

*~Sarah~*

Philippines & Makati City Vacation 12-21-06

I've been here about a week in the Philippines now... time is going by way too fast.... F.B. & I just got back from our 4 day vacation in Makati City, we stayed in the Best Western hotel & were on the 17th floor. When we got into the room, we were being silly and getting inside the closet & taking pictures. And I made F get into the shower (with his clothes on) lol! Peeking out of the shower curtain. Here's some of our photos:












Our View:


Our midnight picnics:


We visited alot of malls while in Makati. Saw the Mall of Asia, where we could see Manila Bay, went to Greenbelt & I got to visit the Louis Vuitton store, but I can't afford any of the purses there, boo hoo.... got some tourist type gifts for home while at the malls. And we also saw some movies.

Some Pictures from the Mall of Asia & Seeing the Bay:











These are from Greenbelt:









The traffic is a free for all here, and 2 lanes become 3 etc, you'd prolly scream in the car too, they get so close to your car! They have these funny things called U-turn slots also, where you get to drive into the on-coming traffic... and in the city they have these countdown traffic lights, that count down 60 seconds to green or red.

We visited the mall again today. And saw the Nativity Story movie. We had to leave the car at the hotel & took a taxi to the mall area, because in the city certain cars aren't allowed to drive until after 7pm. They go by your license plate number. We had trouble getting a taxi there, but coming back was worse- we couldn't seem to get one, so we just decided to walk the 8-10 blocks back to the hotel, it was faster walking than driving I think, haha cuz you sit in traffic alot in the car. It only took about 20 minutes to get back to the hotel. It was quite an adventure. We also saw the Manila Cathedral & went inside, there was a Filipino wedding going on & people are allowed to watch. And we also saw Luneta Park.

Been eating out alot while we stayed in the city. I had some squid the other day with F.B. and some dish with raw fish that I liked, which surprised both F & I. Went to KFC also, and it's the same except for alot of dishes with rice. Eating lot's of rice here... I'm gonna want to buy some when I get back, haha. F's gonna take me to Popeyes one day, and I wanna go to Friday's also. We ate Japanese in the beginning of the week & I tried to teach F how to eat with Chopsticks, but he gave up and used his spoon, but I almost ate a whole bowl of rice with my chopsticks. I had to force F to let me pay for dinner the one night, but he let me pay for the movies today also.

KFC:





The weather is hot, but I haven't found it too bad. It's just like summer, it can get a little humid at times, but it's fine & I'm staying in F's sister's room, with the aircon.

Pictures of us:








We are going to mail off the postcards & christmas cards tomorrow afternoon. And this weekend is Christmas eve already... and next week are off to Tagaytay for 3 days.... check out my profile for some more pictures of us. That's all for now.

*~Sarah~*

Update 12-22-2006: We went to another mall today. Got some souvenirs at this shop that makes handmade stuff from the Philippines. Mailed the postcards today also. We ate at Popeyes too. And stopped at the supermarket so I could buy some candy & snacks made in the Philippines to take home. We wrapped Christmas gifts today, and will be going to church on Christmas Eve. We took some xmas pictures today. There's also one in our profile:



I think I'm hurting F here:


Oh, work called. I go back to work on January 8th- 7am when I go home. I called them real quick from the Philippines to say I'd be coming back.

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!

*~Sarah~*

December 14th, 2006 I arrived in the Philippines for the first time. I was scared to death. It was the first time I had been out of the United States. It was the first time I'd ever traveled alone. My flight had taken me from Philadelphia to Chicago. Chicago to Hong Kong- Hong Kong to the Philippines. A 24 hour flight all together. I arrived in Manila a little after midnight on the 14th.

When I pulled my suitcase out to the waiting area. There was F.B. & his Mother waiting for me in the crowd of people. His Mom was holding a purple banner with my name on it. It was the first time F.B. & I were face to face. We gave each other a hug and my first words to him were, "You're not so short!" See what happens when your brain is sleep deprived!? He always cracks up when I remind him of the first words I spoke to him in person. (It really wasn't a big deal though. I'm 5'6" he's 5'3") He gave me white roses when I got to the car and waiting at his house was a stuffed monkey I named 'Mr. Unggoy'. (Monkey in Tagalog.)

Blog Flashback: Got to the Philippines on 12-14-06. After a lonnnng flight. About 25 hours in total. I was pretty nervous at all the airports... the Chicago airport was pretty small. But I was scared to death in Hong Kong... that airport is HUGE! I had to ask for directions. I had to take this funny shuttle thing to the check in area. And then they didn't put a gate number on my ticket & I had to go look on the board to find it, and at first it was in Chinese. But then it changed to English. Got to Manila airport around 11pm. And met my boyfriend & his mother at the airport.
3 years into the relationship and we had finally met. After all the roller coasters in our relationship we were finally together. The first night we were together we hugged alot. And we shared our first 3 kisses that night as well. We couldn't believe we were actually together after all this time. It was a little weird at first being together in person, after talking online, through letters & the phone for so long. But things fell into place. We got along so well in person, we were best friends. We felt so comfortable around each other. For our first date. F.B. took me to the mall near his house. We ate at 'Tokyo Tokyo' and I tried Sushi for the first time. Then we got to see our first movie together, 'Happy Feet'.

I stayed for 3 weeks in the Philippines. We got to spend Christmas and New Years together. (On Christmas I was given my ring- though we hadn't decided on getting engaged just then.) We stayed a few days alone in Makati City and a few days alone up in Tagaytay City seeing the Taal Volcano. We had such a good time. It was so hard to say goodbye. I left the Philippines, January 3rd, 2007. When I was standing in line to check in for my flight I got a text message from F.B. saying to look behind me. He was able to watch me through the windows of the airport and would walk along when I did, waving to me until I had to pass through customs... and board my plane...

Some pictures from my first trip to the Philippines:



















































Blog Flash Back: 12-16-2006

Got to the Philippines on 12-14-06. After a lonnnng flight. About 25 hours in total. I was pretty nervous at all the airports... the Chicago airport was pretty small. But I was scared to death in Hong Kong... that airport is HUGE! I had to ask for directions. I had to take this funny shuttle thing to the check in area. And then they didn't put a gate number on my ticket & I had to go look on the board to find it, and at first it was in Chinese. But then it changed to English. Got to Manila airport around 11pm. Went through customs, got my luggage & went outside. There were a tonnnn of people... I was so nervous. F's mom had made a purple banner with 'Sarah' on it, so I could find them, and I saw F. & Gave him a hug and said, "You're not so short!"

The next day F & I went to a mall near his house. It was 5 levels. And huge!!! Lot's of people. We stopped and walked around a supermarket in the mall. We also had Japanese for lunch & I tried sushi. Then F & I saw the movie 'Happy Feet'. Lol. But it was just okay.

Today we just hung out around his house. And tomorrow we are going to church. And Monday we are off to Makati City for 4 days. That's about it for now.

Myspace Blog Flashback:

April 5, 2006 - Wednesday
Anniversary!
Current mood: contemplative
Category: Life

April 1st, was my two year anniversary with my boyfriend. Sooooo glad he's in my life. It's so amazing how our lifes managed to cross paths at all. And even more amazing, that we are still in this relationship 2 years later! (Mahal kita, boyfriend ko.)

I don't know what I'd do without him. He's my bestest best friend. He is someone I can completely be myself with, who I can tell anything in the world too and he'll listen to me. He's always there for me, even if I wake him up with a phonecall in the middle of the night, and need to talk haha! He's someone I can be silly and childish with. Someone who I have so much fun with. And just someone... that 'get's' me. Who loves me for me... despite my stubborn dramaqueen ways, haha! I'm very lucky to have him in my life. I could keep going, but it would get more sappy.

We sent eachother our Anniversary cards, letters, etc. Mine is taking a little longer to get to him, but I got his stuff today! Yay!

He made me a mix c.d. and sent me some more Philippine postcards, and this little "I love you." pin, with "I love you" in different languages, haha. And cards, lot's of cards and a long letter. I am so lucky, haha. My guy can be so thoughtful. (Salamat baby.)

That's all for now,

*~Sarah Lynn~*

Myspace Blog Flashbacks:

March 17, 2006 - Friday
Philippines Here I Come!
Current mood: ecstatic
Category: Travel and Places

It's done! I prayed about it and I wasn't feeling as restless today, as I had been the past few days. Today the flight prices went down a few more dollars for the trip I wanted. So I decided to buy the ticket. I had exactly enough in my savings to buy it. It's confirmed. I am going to the Philippines: December 13th 2006- January 3rd 2007. I'll arrive there on the 14th and I'll be home on the 3rd. I'll be spending Christmas & New Years with my boyfriend and his family

My paper tickets should be here tomorrow or on Monday at the latest. And then it's settled. Then I have to get my passport, once I get my tax refund (Already got my pictures!) and the rest of this year, I just need to save up the spending $$$ I will need. I'm excited, nervous and scared all in one, lol! But I have 9 months to plan this trip out. I'm also excited that I will finally get to see my boyfriend after 2 1/2 years. I'm excited I'll get to spend the holidays with him. I'm excited to have a vacation and something to look forward too. I'm excited I'll get to experience a whole other culture. It's going to be a life-altering wonderful experience. And definitely a step outside my comfort zone...

Here's the outline of my flight:

Leave: Wednesday, December 13, 2006

United Airlines
Depart: 7:30am Philadelphia International (PHL)
Arrive: 8:46am Chicago O'Hare International (ORD)
Change planes. Time between flights: 3hr 31min

United Airlines
Depart: 12:17pm Chicago O'Hare International (ORD)
Arrive: 6:05pm China Hong Kong Int'l (HKG)
Change planes. Time between flights: 2hr 55min

Philippine Airlines
Depart: 9:00pm China Hong Kong Int'l (HKG)
Arrive: 11:00pm Philippines Manila Ninoy Aquino Intl (MNL)

Return: Wednesday, January 3, 2007

Philippine Airlines
Depart: 8:00am Philippines Manila Ninoy Aquino Intl (MNL)
Arrive: 10:00am China Hong Kong Int'l (HKG)
Change planes. Time between flights: 1hr 35min

United Airlines
Depart: 11:35am Hong Kong Int'l (HKG)
Arrive: 11:40am Chicago O'Hare International (ORD)
Change planes. Time between flights: 4hr 20min

United Airlines
Depart: 4:00pm Chicago O'Hare International (ORD)
Arrive: 7:22pm Philadelphia International (PHL)


March 21, 2006 - Tuesday
My Plane Tickets Came!
Current mood: cheerful
Category: Life

Blah, I've been sick allllll weekend. I've had a headcold. It started on Saturday. My temperature has been below normal, and I've had the chills, and a runny/stuffy nose. A nasty cough, headache... it's just been really gross. I took off work Monday & Tuesday and I had to reschedule my tax appointment for next Tuesday. Tomorrow I'll be back at work though. I'm feeling better than I was on Sunday & Monday.

And.... MY PLANE TICKETS CAME TODAY! Yay! In 9 more months I'll be off to the Philippines, to spend the holidays with my boyfriend! Now if I only knew what the heck I'm supposed to do with my tickets, haha. I haven't been on a plane since 1996, and back then my parents took care of all the major stuff. I've never traveled international before. I have to get my passport soon. I think I'll make an appointment to get that done sometime next week closer to payday. Not sure if my friend Christie will be joining me on this trip or not. It's up to her and it's up to how high or how low the prices will be when or if she decides.

Just a short update for today. I'm still not feeling so great. I lack energy.

*~Sarah~*

March 30, 2006 - Thursday
Passport Interview.....
Current mood: exhausted
Category: Life

I had that my interview today to get my passport. I took off work 2 hours early to get it done. I went over to the post office around the corner from my house and went in and asked where I went for passport stuff. And the guy goes, "Oh you want the South Hampton post office, up the road. We don't do that stuff here." OMG! I had 5 MINUTES before my appointment. When I saw the Street Road address, I just assumed it was THAT post office. I didn't know there was another one on the same road. I had to "drive creatively" 2 miles up the road in horrible traffic to the OTHER post office on Street Road. I was 10 minutes late for my appointment... but I made it there okay and after all that aggravation it took less then 10 minutes for me to read this little oath, sign my name, have them check out all my identification & write out two checks. And that was that. They will mail it to the state and in 4-6 weeks I should have my passport.

We talk about the future alot and what might happen. We talk about meeting for the first time. We talk about F.B. coming to stay with his relatives in Virginia after graduation. We talk about getting married someday. We talk about having kids and our own house. We don't really know what the future is going to bring for us. What we do know, is that we love eachother, and we will make things happen someday.

I agree with the whole marriage thing. It doesn't really have to be expensive or something. But I'm definitely not gonna get you one of those gumball rings. LoL! Silver rings would be nice though and it would be interesting to get married on April Fools day. hehe! And I'm cool with the Justice of the peace thing.....anyway, what's important is that you're gonna be married to the one you love. I love you, F.B.

I still haven't done the marriage vow thingie though. I mean, I've written it already, just didn't deliver the speech just yet. I think that'll be next week though. It's not really much but most of it is really my own words and I just added a few things off the internet. And of course, it was you who I had in my mind when I was writing it. So here it is baby, I'll just type it up for you here for you to see. I'll just underline the stuff I got from the internet. Here goes...

I love you...no better words describe what I feel for you. I thank the Lord for bringing you into my life. You are such a blessing. You are a gift from above...You are my friend, my love...my angel. Thank you for just being you. Thank you for all the love that you give to me. You are such an inspiration. You make me want to be a better person. And I love the way that you love me. I need your love...I need you. I thank that Lord for binding our lives together. I feel so blessed to have found you.

I promise to be there for you...When you're sad, I'll be there to put a smile on your face. When you cry, I'll be there to wipe your tears. When you're feeling down, I'll be there to comfort you. And when no one seems to understand, I'll be there to listen...I promise to care for you, honor you, and protect you. I lay down my life for you. I give you all that I have. I give you my friendship, my trust and my support...I give you all of my love. And as we enter this life together, I pledge my love and faith to you for as long as I live.

Well, that's about it baby. Whatcha think? I'll probably be delivering that speech on Monday or so...Anyway, I hope you get my letter soon baby. Maybe you'll get it during the weekend. That would be so nice. I miss you baby. I look forward to our date on Saturday. Btw, my mom, sis and I will be having some breakfast buffet on Father's day. Just wanted my girl to know. Have a nice weekend baby...I love you. *mwah* -F.B.

I'm glad you like my marriage vow thingie. I guess I did take that a bit personally. LoL! I did think about you a lot when I was writing that. And I pray that someday I'd get to do those things for you...I'll probably be delivering that speech tomorrow morning in my speech class. And don't worry baby, I won't wear any axe. LoL! I don't think the girls in school would want a dork like me though. That's why sometimes I wonder why you love me. hehe. I love you, F.B.
Hi girlfriend ko. I miss you. I finally got that marriage vow thingie done. It went ok, I guess. Like I said, it's just reading in front of the class anyway. When I was reading it though, I had this certain feeling that I couldn't explain. It was weird. haha. I guess it's cuz I really do have these feelings for you and that the vow thingie was kinda personal to me. hehe...I'm really glad you like it baby. *mwah* I love you, F.B.
We sometimes talk about being married and having a family. At one point we picked out names.

FB: kids, eh......I bet they'd be cute
SARAH: lol.... haha- can I have the soap now though, I think I may need it...
FB: Nevaeh
SARAH: Haha! Aw! You spelt it right. :-)
FB: I did.....woohoo
SARAH: You mean Emily Nevaeh
SARAH: What about Christopher James Matthew? Good lord... this kid will have a name as long as yours if I keep adding on...
SARAH: you know why I picked Christopher right?
FB: because of me
SARAH: yes because of your name. :-)
FB: We could call him CJ. LoL!
SARAH: Hee hee, that's cute.
FB: HOLY CRAP! I said "we" Haha!
SARAH: Yeah you did... isn't that funny. It's funny- but feels right. When I think about things, I always think in terms of 'us' lol. I can't help it...I love you
FB: I love you too
I was just saying- it would be nice to have another middle name- before of after Nevaeh- but then when you came up with that initial idea the other day- but I couldn't find anything I really liked. And then you said something about Z- did it stand for Zoe- (in the initial ideas I had) and I said- no. And said something about your mom's name, and then you said Zen- and at first I thought you meant for initials- Z.E.N. but then I really liked that. Because that would be her initials- but also the first three letters of her first name... we could call her a bunch of things. Zen, Z, Emily, Emmy, Em... etc. I really do like it alot... :-)

Christopher James Matthew (CJ)
Zenaida Emily Nevaeh (Zen)

Whatcha think? This is so funny, I can't believe we are picking out names.... LOL. I love you, Sarah

CJ and Zen.....very nice names you've picked out there, Ms. Clydesdale. I love 'em. I love. *mwah* I love you, -F.B.

You don't like Zenaida Emily Nevaeh? I think it sounds pretty actually, I mean for a little girl- it's a big long name- but you know we could call her Z.E.N. haha, or Emily, or Emmy. Zen & CJ.... I dunno.... I'm kinda liking this.... the things you make me think... -Sarah

I like Zenaida Emily Nevaeh, it's just that I thought you wanted the name to be before or after Nevaeh.....Zen does sound nice though. I like it. -F.B.

I'll be teaching you and the kids tagalog stuff. Hehe! That oughtta be fun. Mahal kita. *mwah* Then we could teach' em to spell, being "duh spelchekerr" and all......Zen, spell Pennsylvania. Haha! Ya know, sometimes I still have to look at that thing's spelling when I send you letters. The double n kinda confuzzles me. LoL!

I think I've mentioned to Mom about the names before....I don't remember exactly. But I do remember asking her if she already had names picked out when she was still single. And she said no- she didn't start until she and Dad got together. Anyway, if we got married- I think you should call her Mom or whatever Mom type name you wanna call her. LoL! -F.B.
We've been talking about what will happen after his graduation. Recently, I decided I was going to start saving up, to be with him on his graduation.

I'm not really sure of what I'll be doing after I graduate. But it would be nice to get something computer related. Something that maybe I could use the stuff I studied in Computer Science. I think that would be really cool. Ya know, call centers are pretty popular around here nowadays. It's pretty much about marketing and stuff. But I don't think I could be the phone guy. LoL! I'm sorry about before. I did feel that I upset you with that reply. And though you said I didn't, I still feel I did...somehow. I can be a stupid dork sometimes and I'm really sorry. Anyway, I think it would be nice if I could visit there before I graduate. Maybe visit some relatives and visit you too. That would be nice. It's true though that I'd be nervous cuz I wanna be perfect for you but I'm just me...the quiet silly dork. LoL! I love you, F.B.

That graduation idea does seem so nice baby. That would be so special to have you to share it with on that special day. And if you were around here, I bet you could just stay at our house. That would be nice. And I'll be a good boy...promise. LoL! I hope everything works out with my classes and stuff. I do wanna graduate soon. Ya know, my sister will be graduating soon. I don't know exactly when but I think she'll be graduating from college before I do. That's nice and all and I'm happy for her...She's a smart girl. But that makes me feel bad somehow too. Cuz it just makes me realize that I coulda finished my studies already if I just took things seriously before and didn't cut classes and stuff. *sigh* I was a bad boy baby...Do you still love me? I love you, F.B.
Ahhhhh! I'm so excited to come see you for your graduation, hee hee. It's all I can think about. I love our couple vacation idea. And I think we should go to Tagaytay! We can sightsee and spend time together, alone as a couple. Since I know your mommy is gonna make you sleep in her room, so I can have your room, while I'm staying. hee hee. Oh baby! That'll be just so nice though! Spending time together alone. You can drive me around, and we can take pictures of all the pretty palm trees and stuff. And we can spend lots of alone time in our room, hee hee. *mwah* Sooooo looking forward to spending some time with my boyfriend, and getting to kiss him, and be close to him. I love you, Sarah

That vacation thing does sound nice baby and I do think about that lotsa times too. There's definitely lotsa places to stay at Tagaytay. My mom mentioned something about Boracay since we do have relatives around there...my aunt and uncle who used to live in Modesto. She also said that if Dad wasn't around when you come here, you could sleep with her in their room. haha. But I just said I'd give you my room instead. I love you, F.B.

You'd give up your room for me, awww. You're sucha sweetie. I love you so much. I wish I hadn't been stubborn about wanting to come see you... and just wanting you to come see me... I could have been saving long before this. *sigh* Oh well. It'll all work out. I love you, I wanna be with you, Sarah
Well... I have to tell you the unusual thing that happened today. When I got to work, Virginia was acting all mysterious and telling me to look in my desk drawer. And I didn't end up doing it until 9 o' clock break. So I find a card envelope in there, and I open it up, and there's all this cash in there, and this little letter from her. And it said something like this is for your trip, to help you out more towards your goal and to use for your flight expenses. She wanted me to either put it in a CD at the bank to get some interest, or in my savings. So she was out on her break and I didn't even look to see how much she'd given me, I went to talk to Ike about it... because I'm not really comfortable taking money from people, even if it's a gift. Unless it's family, or super close friends. So I wrote her a note back, saying that it was thoughtful and everything, but I couldn't really accept something like that. And that I have 16-8 months to save up the money for the trip, and I'll be able to do it, it will just take some time. And I left the envelope and note on her desk. So she read it, and started getting kinda offended about it (that's Virginia!) and she was like, "Well if you don't take it, I'll just get your social security number off your time sheet, and go to the bank and put it away for you myself!" LOL! I'm like, I can save the money for the trip, it'll take awhile, but I can do it. And she's like, "But this would get you a little closer, and give you some more security."

Then she started talking about her husband. (Her husband died when he was in his 30's from a heart attack. And her 3 boys are real jerks towards her, they don't live with her anymore and are really mean to her, maybe they blame her for their dad dying, I don't really know. They are just troublemakers, in and out of jail, and never even get their mother birthday presents or anything.) So, she was saying, she remembers being how it was when she met her husband and she says there was fireworks when they kissed for the first time and how they really loved eachother and how they were meant for eachother, and how when he died she lost a part of herself along with him. And she said, she just wants to give someone else a chance to have some happiness, like she had when she was with her husband, and a chance to meet that someone special... which made me wanna cry, haha. And she's like, "Will you just think about taking, it please, it'll make me happy. And all I want is for your to send me a postcard when you get there, or take a picture of the two of you." LOL! I still feel sorta uncomfortable, but I took it, and she was really happy all day, lol. I put it in my savings account.

But... she gave me alot of money F! She gave me $250.00... that's alot alot of money. I can't believe that. I think I'll buy her a pair of new headphones tomorrow, because her old ones were acting up today,lol. I mean what else can I do? I already wrote her a little thank you note at work, and wrote 'Salamat' that's thank you in my boyfriends language, and I'll send you a postcard and picture. And she was really insulted when I tried to give it back to her, she's kinda stubborn, lol. I dunno baby that was awful thoughtful. What did I do to deserve that? I love you, and I want to be with you baby, I do, I do, I do. I wouldn't ever wanna settle for someone less. I want you, I need you, and I love you. And you know I understand you, and you understand me, and there's no one that could understand us like we understand eachother. And you love me, and I love you. I don't want anyone else, but you. I love you, Sarah

That's really nice what Virginia did. She gave you $250. Wow! That's a lot baby. It's good that you took it though, cuz she probably would've felt bad if you didn't. haha. I know I'd feel bad if I gave someone a gift and they wouldn't take it. So that's good baby. That's really nice of her though. Tell her I said "Salamat" too. You mean so much to me. You're my best friend, my girlfriend, my angel. You're always in my prayers. Take care and God bless. I miss you. I love you Sarah. *mwah* F.B.
I was thinking... it's not up to fate, it's up to us. It's our decision with where we want to take things with us, and if we say, "I want to be with you." Then we can make it happen, no doubt about it. And we will make it happen. I love you, Sarah

I agree- a time will come that it's just gonna happen. We're gonna make it happen. You'll be there for me and I'll be there for you. I love you, Sarah, F.B.

I've been raised Christian all my life. I've was always taught, I should marry a Christian. F.B. is Catholic. We both believe in the same God. We both believe in Jesus is the son of God. There are major & minor differences in our religions. But faith has always been an important part of our relationship and something that attracted me to F.B. in the first place.

Hi Sarah! How are you? Mass is at 10:30 a.m. I woke up around 9, had some breakfast and went to church with my Mom and sis. That was Sunday, of course. I was at school today and during my free time, I thought I'd do some reading. So I sat around and started reading. I noticed people looking. What was I reading?.....My Bible. I thought I'd catch up on stuff. Haven't read for quite some time. I guess they just aren't used to seeing someone read the Bible around school. Some guy actually came up to me and asked what my religion was. Smile, Sarah. No worries.
I'll see ya when I see ya. Take care, God bless. F.B.

Hey F.B. ,That's so awesome. I used to take my bible to work last year. And I'd read it once in awhile at lunch or a break, or whenever I needed to look up a verse. But I haven't taken it there this year, because it feels like this year has been busier, and there's never enough time to read. So I have to do that at church, or at home (when I remember, I'm bad at that sometimes...) Talk to ya L8R, God bless, Sarah

I hear you about Christmas, Sarah. People just tend to forget that, what will all the gifts and stuff. I mean, I went to mass just before Christmas Eve last year and the choir was singing "Happy Birthday to You", then I heard a woman behind me asking "Who's birthday is it?" I was kinda peeved by that.....Anyway, I grew up with the Santa Claus thing too (Kinda weird since we don't have any chimneys around here. LoL!) Take care, F.B.

Earlier in our relationship, I found out F.B. was reading through the bible on his own, I asked if I could read along with him, and we would read through a few chapters in the bible together everyday. We even memorized a bible verse that really applied to us:

1 Corinthians 13:4-7: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

F.B. and I had never really had any talks about the differences in our religions, until I decided to email him about it.

"Sarah Lynn C." wrote: Hey baby, I wanted to have a talk about religion, and about the differences in our religion. So, I’ll share with you what I believe & my church believes, and then you can send me back an email with everything that you believe & your thoughts. I think it’s important that we do discuss the differences because they are there.

Hmmm…. I guess I’ll talk about what I believe first, in my faith as a Christian. I believe that Jesus died on the cross, and rose again- to forgive me for my sins & to give me everlasting life, when I die in heaven. But I didn’t always have that salvation… it was a gift that I had to accept. Meaning, when I was younger I didn’t really understand everything- so it actually wasn’t until I was in my teens, that Jason & I talked about being saved in his office, because I didn’t actually think I was- because I had been very young, and not understanding fully what that meant. So yeah…we prayed about it that day, and from then on I’ve been 100% sure that I am saved. I was also baptized when I was a baby at my grandparents church. But my church actually believes & the bible teaches, baptism should come after accepting salvation. So I was actually baptized again when I was…. 18? 19? Wow… I forget, I’m old! Also, salvation isn’t earned. Meaning, that even if I live out my whole life doing good things for other people, that still isn’t going to get me into heaven. Even if I follow all the 10 Commandments, that still isn’t enough to get me into heaven. All the praying, attending every service of church, still- won’t get me into heaven. We are supposed to do those things- because they are taught in the bible. And God wants us to go to church, and pray, and follow the commandments, and do good works. But- that’s not necessary or even vital for getting into heaven. There’s only one way into heaven. And that’s by acknowledging Jesus died, and rose again- as a sacrifice for all humankind, to forgive us of our sins, and give us eternal life.

Also which might be of importance. At least as a Christian, when I pray I pray to God, or Jesus (which are really one in the same anyway) Same with when I need to confess any sins… which is every stinking day… lol. Because as humans- we are sinners… and well we are not perfect. But we just get back up again, and try again, and strive for the prize. (Philippians 3:12-14) Still, that doesn’t matter, because I am saved, and I can never ever lose my salvation. It was a gift. Jesus is not an Indian giver. He doesn’t give you a gift, just to take it away again, lol. (Romans 8:38-39)

Pastor Mike said something interesting about that once. He said something about- and these are from notes I took on a Sunday morning a few months ago. If you can lose your salvation when you sin- then as soon as you got saved- you would lose your salvation within minutes. (Because as sinful people, we are always thinking, doing or saying something.) And if you could lose your salvation, then Jesus would have to die on the cross AGAIN. Which would make a mockery of what Christ did in the first place. If you can lose your salvation you have no hope. I’m a preachy little sucker… haha. But I’m not preaching, so please don’t think I am. I’m just sharing with you what I believe, and you will also have the chance to do so. I love you, Sarah

Wow! That's a long e-mail. LoL! Ya know, I never really thought that much about our differences in religion. I mean, I know there are differences but we do believe in the same God. So it never really was something I thought much of. But don't worry baby, I'll share my thoughts on that. Well, like you I believe that Jesus is my savior. Though Catholics do have Saints and pray to Mother Mary through the rosary and other stuff. We have this Filipino Saint....Lorenzo Ruiz. And we actually have the child Jesus as a Saint around here and he's called Nino(it's my name.hehe). My Mom told me they stopped calling me that when I became more naughty(just a little) as a kid. LoL!

When I pray, I pray to God. I don't remember me praying to Mother Mary, though as a family we did pray the rosary. I wonder, do you do the sign of the cross? Cuz that's something we do when we attend mass on church during Sundays or just pray. Though sometimes I feel there's really no need to do that. I mean, just talk to God. And we do have the Holy Week which is pretty much a holiday around here.....We did the "Visit Iglesia" sometime this year for that. Remember, I told you about that where we visit 7 churches to pray. That leads to Resurrection Sunday or Easter Sunday. And I know that we feel the same way about Christmas. That I feel that it should be more about Jesus Christ's birth. People seem to forget that. We should definitely teach our kids about the true essence of Christmas.

Anyway, there was a time in my life that I didn't believe in God, sometime around my late teens. I just felt so alone. But I dunno what happened....one day, I just said to myself- I believe in God. And here I am.....and I don't feel alone anymore and I know that when times get hard, God's there to listen to my prayers. And I thank Him for whatever blessings I receive, especially for bringing you into my life.
I like this verse from the Bible......Matthew 7:13-14 (The Narrow Gate) "Go in through the narrow gate, because the gate to hell is wide and the road that leads to it is easy, and there are many who travel it. But the gate to life is narrow and the way that leads to it is hard, and there are a few people who find it."

I know that life isn't perfect. It sucks sometimes. LoL! But I know that the trials and the problems that we have are just stuff that God knows we can handle. And they're like a way to lighten the burden that Jesus carries for us. And whenever I do "fail", it's just a way that God says- "This is not for you F". Or whenever I pray for something and it never comes, it's probably not the right time yet or God may have another plan for me.....Am I making sense here? I'm really not that theological. hehe. I hope you feel better soon. Take care. God bless. I love you Sarah. *mwah* F.B.

Hey boy ko, it doesn't matter if you aren't "theological" Or, "philosophical"- as I call myself when I get into a deep/thoughtful or spiritual mood, lol. Ya know, you wrote your thoughts down and it came from the heart, and I appreciate that we do get to talk about things. And I just thought we ought to talk about this because we never really have talked about the differences, and it was something I wanted to talk about. I also appreciate the fact that you are so understanding. That you take the time to listen to what I have to say, and even when you do reply you are still thoughtful and understanding in your replies to me. You're always patient, and understanding, and I am blessed to have you in my life.

I know that was a long email, haha. It's so funny... when I get started I can't stop myself, and bible verses fly out of my memory, not in full- but in bit's and pieces, and I either keyword search on the online bible, or look for the highlighted passages in my bible. No... I don't and we don't do the sign of the cross when we pray. We just bow our heads, etc. And like you said, talk to God, or Jesus.

What is the rosary? Now... I've heard of those beads... called rosary beads. You know... a girl I worked with at the shoe store gave me some purple plastic rosary beads with a plastic cross on them, and to this day I still carry them in my purse- mostly as a reminder of my faith. My boss at the shoe store. He was sucha nice guy! And I loved working there... but I think- well, I'm almost certain my boss was an Atheist. He didn't believe in God, he didn't believe in any religion or faith at all. He had sort of a problem when I would wear my cross necklace to work... one time I had been writing bible verses down, cuz I was bored and Pastor Mike had me memorizing them for counseling, and I accidentally left the paper at work, and he had a talk with us all about how he didn't like that kind of stuff. He also, didn't like that I wouldn't work Sunday's, because I had to be at church. There was the time we all had name badges, and all of girls were just drawing little designs on ours. I remember, I drew a heart a smilie, a flower, and a cross on mine. We drew on the backs, where customers wouldn't even see. When I came into work the next day, my badge was gone, and my boss had a talk with me and said he didn't like religious symbols of any kind. I worked with alot of people younger than me. I don't wanna say they were messed up- let's say they had some "problems" Alot of underage drinking, and drug use. And they always commented how I didn't curse, or go out partying or drink or any of that stuff. And I kinda always felt, like they made fun of me when it came to that. But then one evening Barb, the one girl I worked with said, "Sarah, I have something for you." And I thought she meant trash, cuz we were emptying the trashcans around the time the store was closing. And I was like, "Oh what it is." And then she handed me the plastic purple rosary beads... and I just thought that was so awesome. I did tell her, as a Christian, I didn't use them. But it was so awesome, because I never felt like I made any difference with my faith... so yeah... lol. I carry them in my purse to this day, as a reminder of my faith.

I can understand about not really accepting things until your late teens- because I definitely had a similar experience. I was 15 years old when Chrissy dragged- yes dragged me out to her churches youth group. I was pretty unexcepting about it... I mean I had been raised as a Christian- but I don't think you really begin to understand what it is all about until you are in your teens, and you are able to make the decision on your own, and able to form your own opinions. So yes, dragged me she did, and I wasn't too open about it. I'm like, "Oh... another church thing- this will be boring." And... it wasn't, haha. Youth group was so crazy and so much fun. I loved the time I was involved in my churches youth group- and that really set the foundation for my faith in Jesus Christ, and in God.

Yes... you understand my Christmas dilemma, lol. And how I've always felt it's too commercialized, and how it's all about the gifts, and "Santa" etc. And I'd always felt it should be more about Jesus. It's the time we celebrate his birth... and not too many think about that too much. My mom always makes a birthday cake in honor of Christ's birth. We've done that, since I was little. But I still always felt in my own home, it was still too much about getting the gifts, and "Santa" And those things are okay... but that's not what Christmas is about. And when I do have kids- if we have kids, I do want to really put the focus back on Christ during Christmas. ("Christ"-mas).

Yeah, we have Palm Sunday, Good Friday, (Or is that the other way around? No matter, lol.) And then Easter Sunday or Resurrection Sunday, as Pastor Mikes like to refer to it at my church. What about communion? Our church has communion once a month. Just to take time to reflect on Jesus' death and resurrection. A time to come together as a church, and also to pray, repent sins, etc. I like my church... nice and simple when it comes to communion, because they pass out the little cups... of grape juice, representing the blood Jesus spilled, when he was crucified, and the little cracker type things, representing his body that was broken, for our sins. Also I think I said, once that Pastor Mike said, The reason Christian crosses, don't depict Jesus on the cross, is because He isn't on the cross anymore.

Life is most definitely hard. Life is never going to be easy... life does sucks sometimes. Life also has it's wonderful moments and memories. But going through bad times, makes us just that more grateful of the good times & our blessings. And also makes us stronger, because through the bad times our faith is tested and strengthened. And yeah... I'm never alone. Because I know He'll never leave me. And I also like that verse you mentioned. I also agree with you, when you talked about praying for something, and maybe it wasn't God's will, or the right timing in your life. Or if something happens, maybe that's not what God has planned for your life. I do that alot. If I miss something- maybe it was for a reason. Everything happens for a reason. Look, I was flipping through my bible, and came across more notes from a Sunday morning, where Pastor Mike had said: "When God gives us a task to do, He doesn't say it will be easy. Be faithful & do it, and then you will see the blessings."

Anyway, this is getting long again. I'm glad that we talk about things, and discuss things, and communicate. And our faith in God is what brought us together, but I also just wanted to discuss and talk about the differences that are there in our religions. I also thank you for always being so understanding and patient, and supportive of me. And I love you so very much, Sarah Lynn

Hi baby. Aw, thank you for all the nice things you say about me. hehe.....You make me feel so special. *mwah*.....It's so true though that our faith brought us together somehow, and I do admire your faith and your theological ness (new word. LoL!).
I'm glad we're doing this Bible thing. I always kinda wanted to read through it but never really had the patience. I remember starting reading it for a while and then I stopped again. And then just before I met you, I started reading it again, though I really had no schedule. I'd just read whenever I felt like it. But now that you're there reading along with me, I just feel much more motivated to get read my chapters. I'm quite amazed that we've reached the New Testament already. It seemed so far away a few months ago. Anyway, it's nice that we get to do this kinda things together.

Well, rosaries are those bead thingies with a cross.....they kinda look like necklaces. First has one dangling from his mirror thingie. You use 'em to pray the rosary, which is basically a 15-minute prayer. Those beads represent The "Hail Mary" prayer, which you repeat over, and over going through the beads all around the rosary. It's kinda tough to explain in e-mail. But I can show you how it's done sometime. LoL!

As for communion, we have that every Sunday in our mass at church. But mostly it's just the cracker thingies(as you call 'em. LoL!) that we use. Sometimes they are dipped into wine. And you'd have to fall in line for communion.....I haven't had communion in a while though, come to think of it. Anyway, in the mass we have 2 readings, the homily(sermon), offertory, communion, and blessing. Take care. God bless. I love you. I love you. I love you. *mwah* -F.B.

I was thinking this morning after I read my chapters... what are we gonna raise our kids someday? I want our family to go to church... I want our family to have faith in God. I just don't know if I wanna raise them Christian, or Catholic. Religion was created by man, not by God. God just want's our obedience, and faith, our heart, our relationship, and to know that Jesus loved us, and died for us- to save us eternally. Perhaps- we should let them decide on their own? I dunno, whatcha think baby? -Sarah

I wanna tell you about the novena thing since you said that kinda bothered you...Yep, it's a catholic thing. But it's not done regularly by Catholics. I guess some just choose to do so like my mom. It's one of those 1-week things. And I just kinda get tagged along to do it with her. I dunno, my mind just tends to wander when doing that. Anyway, it's pretty much just praying the rosary and reciting some prayers. It takes about 20 minutes or so.

About the religion thingie. I agree that people should choose their own religion. But it's also important to kinda just teach the kids to have faith in God, go to church and stuff like that. So, I agree with you baby. Sometimes I feel religion just kinda complicates things though. I know me being catholic may be an issue with you being Christian. But the way I feel is it doesn't really matter what religion as long as we believe in the same God. I love you, -F.B.

We've been through alot these past few years we've been together. And even we though we are so far apart we still have issues arise in our relationship. Things aren't always perfect. Sometimes we get upset with eachother, sometimes we argue. And F.B. refers to me as "His Drama queen". There have been some defining moments in our relationships. Arguments and discussions that have only brought us closer to eachother.

Hey baby, Ack... I always feel like I'm bringing up something that we need to discuss... like the talking thing or the religion thing. I always feel like I'm being so serious, and maybe a little too thoughtful about things at times... sigh, sigh, sigh. See, I wanted to talk about this earlier, but this bothers me way too much to talk about and it has bothered me for a long time now but it's such a weird thing to bring up. And then I start to feel like I'm being one of those jealous girls or something, and that's not how it is, I just need to know some stuff, I guess.

When we were looking at old posts today and me looking at all your old posts- and then I thought someone else had asked you something- but it turned out to be Sarah#1- and I said, "Never mind"- and you asked me, "Does that bother you?" And I said something about "I don't know how to answer that, I don't want to talk about it, never mind." Yeah.... it does bother me, cuz when I look at all those posts- they were around end of November, into December- and just a month later there we were starting off our relationship- right after you had been saying 'Oh you make me smile, oh I missed you.' to someone else....not to mention- with the same name! I guess, I'm just wondering, if you guys were ever close, like us? I guess I just need to know these things, because maybe that would help me to better understand why she was so angry at me right before she left for good- and why she said some of the things she said to me. Yeah so... I dunno... I feel really really weird bringing this up- but it's something that's been on my mind for the past 6 months of our relationship. I love you, Sarah

Sarah#1 and I were never that close. All we had was a forum thing. We flirted around and that was that. We had fun at the boards, though she wasn't around most of the time. I knew she was 18, she lived somewhere in Texas and that she's an Avril fan, that's about it. I e-mailed her a couple of times- Christmas and stuff. But we never really shared stuff about our lives. We never said "I love you" to each other. I guess sometimes, she makes it sound like we were "together" but truly we weren't. It's just that I enjoyed her company around the boards(whenever she was around). I'm quite surprised she got angry at you like that. It's partially my fault, I guess.....sorry. Ya know, I have no problem if you wanna talk about this. If there's anything more you'd like to discuss, feel free to do so. Smile, Sarah. No worries. I love you baby. F.B.

Hi baby. I miss you. I'm sorry I upset you. I just didn't know what to say yesterday with the ym texts, and then when you called, I was just all quiet. It's just sometimes I really don't know what to say. I'm sorry baby. I wish I could just say all the things you'd want to hear and tell you that we'd be visiting sometime soon, but that's really not a sure thing and I was just trying to be honest. Though the possibility is still there, it just doesn't seem like it. It would be nice though to just visit first and get to know each other. I would like that too baby. But I'm just not sure when that would be. I pray that we'll be together soon.

My parents are like "You should finish your studies, so you could go to the states to see Sarah soon.", or so we could just visit as a family and see some of our relatives...They and some relatives in the US actually told me that before even before I knew you. I guess it's a sorta motivation thing to get my studies done soon. Cuz I've been in college for quite some time now. It's kinda embarrassing to think about sometimes. It was stupid of me wasting all that time and wasting my parents' money. I was a bad boy. I guess that's why I just wanna finish my studies soon and kinda redeem myself. I know I've given my parents some headaches before and they'd really be happy when I do graduate soon.

I worry about the height thing too baby. I'm just the little guy and I'm worried that might turn you off. But ya know, I don't really mind that you're taller than me, what really bothers me is that I'm shorter than you. It's not that I'm insecure about my height, it's just that I worry you wouldn't want me because of it. Cuz I know most girls want guys who are taller than them. And I'm just not. I'm just the little guy. I'm just me...And I know it's scary thinking about things sometimes and it's kinda tough answering all those questions cuz we really don't know what's gonna happen. So I understand baby. I feel the same things too. I love you, F.B.

About Ami (that's the girl's name)... well, it's not that she calls or texts me. She just rang my phone once when we were reviewing for exams in the library. Well, I was reviewing then she just came along. I never gave her my number but I guess she could've gotten it from Ken or something. She was my classmate in NSTP last semester, and I did tell you about her before when she handed me this piece of paper with some number in it. I think it was her cellphone number. I dunno. I threw the paper away. And some other time, she was asking stuff about me having a girlfriend and I said "Yes, she's 22". So she knows I have a girlfriend baby. Anyway, awhile ago in school, she sat next to me in one of my classes. She's pretty young...16 or 17, I think. And she's kinda "madaldal". That's talkative in tagalog. And she was asking my birthday and stuff. She even stole a side view pic of me with her cellphone. She's just being friendly, I guess. I don't think she likes me like that. And she did say that she has a boyfriend. I'm sorry if I upset you baby, but I just want you to know stuff. And don't worry baby...I don't want her...It's you I want, it's you that I love. You're my one and only. And you know that I'm all yours baby. I love you so much and I don't want anyone else but you. I love you, -F.B.

I really don't think she likes me like that but I guess there's a possibility. But if she does, I don't get it. How could she like me like that? Sure, we came into the school at the same time and we've been classmates here and there but we barely talk or anything...She can be weird sometimes too. Awhile ago, I was just hanging out at the arcade during lunch break and she was around there with some classmates and saw me. She went up to me and slapped my arm and pinched me kinda playfully but it still hurt. Why'd she do that?...Btw, she's not that girl who asked me to her party. You still remember that eh. LoL! That girl invited the whole class and some other classmates anyway...not just me. haha. Anyway, I guess I could understand about the jealous thing cuz I know I wouldn't want some other guy talking to you or something. I'm your jealous boy, so I understand baby...I just want you to know that I don't want her...it's you that I want. I know you said you don't care about that, but I'll just say it again anyway. And you know that I'm all yours baby...I'm sorry if that got you jealous, but I just want you to know stuff. I don't want you to worry about things. You're my one and only...I love you girlfriend ko. *mwah* -F.B.

About this girl... I am going from girl experience here... and the crushes I have had in the past.... and I think she might like you... Any girl that calls a guy several times, and wants to know why he never texts her. And actually just what you said about how she got upset when you didn't hear her saying hi to you. Okay... if I had a crush on you (actually I love you.. hee hee... but let's pretend.) and I said hi to you... and you didn't hear me or acknowledge me. I would be upset... and I might get angry about it. *Sigh* I love you, Sarah

I'm sorry about the girl thing. But I just felt like sharing stuff to you cuz you're my girlfriend. It wasn't my intention to get you upset or make you jealous...I'm sorry baby. That girl does freak me out sometimes, like that time she got mad for me not hearing her say hi. She really did seem serious about it...weird. Anyway, I'll try to stay away from her baby. I'm all yours. I was thinking about the girl thing...so should I not tell you about those kinda things baby, cuz I don't wanna get you upset or anything like that. I don't intend to get close to any girls either baby. I just feel like sharing things sometimes though. But if you're uncomfortable with it, I'd understand. Cuz it's like you said how I'd be jealous too if you told me stuff. So I understand baby. I love you. *mwah* -F.B.

I'm sorry baby. You probably don't even wanna hear from me right now, but I'm just gonna be sending this email anyway...I'm sorry about awhile ago. I just felt like sharing those things with you cuz you're my girlfriend. I do respect you, that's why I don't hide those kinda things from you. That's why I even asked you if it was ok to do so before telling you. I just wanted to be honest about stuff. And I wish you'd trust me. It hurts for me to hear that you have doubts about that, cuz trust has been a big part of our relationship. I don't want that to get ruined just cuz of some classmate of mine...I know that it worries you sometimes, but I don't want her baby. I don't care about her. It's you that I want. And whenever I do stuff like when I say "I'm not good at that" or something...in my mind, I'm saying "I won't do that cuz I have a girlfriend and I love her"...I guess I'm just not good with words...I know I got you upset, so I'd understand if you wouldn't wanna talk to me. But I'm really sorry. I hope you feel better soon. I'm thinking about you...I miss you. I love you. F.B.

You're right... I don't want to hear from you right now. I'm glad that you're honest with me. I'm always honest with you too. And I want you to tell me stuff. But just because you tell me stuff, doesn't mean I'm not going to have feelings about it or opinions. Or that I'm not going to get upset. I can't promise that. You still don't get it though... I know you don't have feelings for her. I know you don't care about her. I know you love me. But- you don't know what her intentions are. And this new stuff you're telling me- just add’s to my theory.

So she knows you have a girlfriend. So what. That doesn't mean anything. You obviously know her intentions aren't just to be your "friend". She's obviously flirting with you. She's obviously trying to get your attention. So what if she's your classmate. You can't keep playing these things off. If she sits next to you and you're uncomfortable, you move across from her and say something about it, like, "I don't think it's a good idea to sit together like that." If she's saying stuff like smell me... or massage my hands- then duh! Don't play it off, by joking around with her. She's just going to think you're flirting back. You say, something like, "I don't think that would be appropriate." You don't joke back with her! You have to make some boundaries and stick with them.

Or you can say to yourself, "If Sarah was to walk into the room right now, would she be all right with this?" I think that would tell you right off whether you're respecting me or not. It doesn't matter if you don't like her back. But you don't let her sit there and continue to flirt with you. You don't ignore it. You don't joke about it. You say something, that lets her know that it's not okay with you. You don't have to be mean. It can be as simple as, "I don't think that's appropriate." Or, "I don't think that's a good idea.". Letting her sit next to you and letting her say things to you that aren't appropriate for school- is... not right... you're not respecting me when you continue to let her do those things. Whether you ignore it or not. If I had to go to work every day. And there was a younger guy in my unit- and he came by every day and tried to sit next to me at the computer or asked me to smell him. Or tried to touch my hands, or just acted funny around me like he was interested in me, I would let him know that's not okay with me. I would say something to him, whether it hurt his feelings or not. Because I wouldn't wanna lead him on. You're my boyfriend. And it would not be okay if he sat next to me, or tried to touch me, or said things that aren't work related, and weren't appropriate for work. And if he didn't stop. I'd tell my manager.

In your email you said, when she asked you to massage her hands you said, "I'm not good at that." Meaning- it wasn't okay- because I'm your girlfriend. SHE CAN'T READ YOUR MIND, OR READ BETWEEN THE LINES baby... you have to say that. You have to stop and say something like, "I don't think that's a good idea. That's not appropriate for school."

I am worried. If you continue to let her do these things.... what if one day she decides... she's still having trouble getting your attention- so she tries to kiss you. And you don't expect it. And then you're like, "What the hell!?" Then... you've lost our first kiss. Or if she just tries something simple- like going to hold your hand. Or touches your knee, or shoulder. Any of that... is not appropriate. You're my boyfriend... I'm the one supposed to be sharing those things with you. I am upset. I'm upset... because you're just taking that stuff from her, and not saying anything that's going to make her stop. You're just acting like all the others guys in this world. You're supposed to want to stand up for me, and respect me, and take care of me and my heart. You're supposed to be my boyfriend, you're supposed to me my man. The one that's there for me, and will do anything to stop me from getting hurt. I need you....

This is just a big problem right now.... and I'm not happy with it, and you're not listening to me... and I know how girls are. I'm a girl, duh. Jimmy had a girlfriend... you think that stopped me one bit from kissing his cheek that one time years ago? I don't think so... girls aren't afraid of that. All's fair in love and war... which is why you have to be careful and let her know it's not okay with you. And not put yourself in situations, where someone might see you & her sitting together and interpret it wrong. That's how rumors start. And if there's rumors and tsismoso's, or tsismosa's... you know it's gonna get back to me somehow. You can reply to this, but I don't feel like talking... so don't expect any text messages tomorrow. I wish you'd trust me about this. Because you're right... you don't want it to ruin our relationship. I love you... Sarah

I think you're making such a big deal outta this. I kinda feel like you think I'm cheating on you or that I would do so. I feel like I have to defend myself. I know I've hurt your feelings and I'm really sorry, but what about my feelings?...It just hurts hearing from you stuff like you don't know about trusting me or that I disrespect you. And when I read the entries in your xanga...it just sounds like I'm being a bad boyfriend. I dunno, it hurts...I wish you'd trust me. I wish you'd trust me to handle this in my own way. But there's really nothing there. I don't even know her that much. And we don't talk often either. We barely know each other. She's just my classmate...that's all. I know she can get flirty at times, but that's probably just the way she is. I don't flirt back, I don't joke around when I say "I'm not good at that", cuz I seriously don't wanna do it cuz I have a girlfriend. I don't intend to get close to her or any other girl except you...I don't want something like this to ruin our relationship. *sigh* I don't feel so good. I hate myself whenever I get you upset...I'm so sorry. I know this e-mail's kinda short...I'm just a little emotional right now and it's kinda tough finding the words to say. But we'll get to talk more about things in the coming days. I miss you. I love you Sarah. -F.B.

I love you too baby. And I know that everything's not perfect all the time. But it's nice that we talk about things and work things through somehow. And I do agree that it makes our relationship stronger. Cuz we get to know each other better and it gives us more understanding for each other. And I do feel we've been much closer. I feel that each and everyday. And the longer I'm with you, the more I realize how much I love you. I wanna be there for you...I love you Sarah. I do. -F.B.


neo_squared (4:00:21 PM): tell me baby, would you be jealous if I sent a text message to a girl classmate. It's her birthday
neo_squared (4:00:28 PM): *mwah*
christianchickslc (4:00:33 PM): yes...
neo_squared (4:00:50 PM): I won't text her then
christianchickslc (4:00:58 PM): not that girl, the one I don't like mentioned, is it?
neo_squared (4:01:24 PM): it is
christianchickslc (4:01:36 PM): why would you do that then?
neo_squared (4:01:57 PM): just a classmate thing
neo_squared (4:03:07 PM): don't worry baby....it's just that everybody knows it's her birthday cuz she keeps reminding everyone
neo_squared (4:03:56 PM): but I won't text her if it upsets you
neo_squared (4:05:04 PM): baby?

I don't care if you wish that girl a happy birthday in school. But sending her a text message seems so personal. You know I don't like to talk about that girl, I don't know why you would even bring her up, you know it upsets me. You know I have feelings and thoughts about that, that you don't like to hear... I told you not to mention her to me, unless I asked. Otherwise, this is what happens... it causes problems. Because it's an issue, that we don't agree on. So I would rather agree to disagree then argue about it...

I can't believe you threw in my face that, "Well, wouldn't I wish my guy friends a happy birthday?" My guy friends don't HANG ALL OVER ME or touch me, or do any of that stuff you've told me she's done. Otherwise I would know better than to send them a personal text message, that might give them the impression that I was interested in them. I might not think that, but they might think it. And anyway, no. I didn't even wish Jimmy or Brian a happy birthday because they don't care. They don't even remember when my birthday is, so why should I remember theirs? They don't act like my friend, so why should I act like theirs? They are not my friends. The only guy that wished me a happy birthday this year was my boyfriend... the boy that loves me... and cares about me.

I don't care what you do. Because I don't run your life, you do. So you will do what you want. I won't tell you what to do either, because that it none of my business as well, and you won't listen to me anyway. All I can do is give you my thoughts, and tell you how I feel, and that's how I feel. It upsets me. I can't help it, I want to be the only girl in the world that gets your attention. I guess I'm selfish too... I love you... Sarah

I'm sorry baby. It was stupid of me to ask a question like that. I shoulda known that it woulda made you jealous. And you're right, you did tell me not to mention that girl. I guess it just slipped my mind somehow. I'm sorry I got you upset baby. I always screw things up, and I feel really bad about that...That girl doesn't hang all over me though. She's just my classmate in a few of my classes this semester, and we barely talk or anything...I do listen to you, ya know. I care about what you think baby. That's why I asked. But I guess it was stupid to bring something like that up...Stupid me. *sigh*...I'm so sorry baby. I'm sorry for being a jerk...Wish I could make you feel better. I'm thinking about you. I miss you. I love you Sarah. -F.B.

Hey mahal, I miss you too. I'm sorry about things. I'm sorry if I hurt you or made you feel unwanted. I needed time to myself.... long distance relationships are hard... too hard sometimes. It's so stressful sometimes... and sometimes because we talk every day certain things build up, and we end up fighting over something stupid. I know I get sensitive... but I needed a time out from all of that. There are alot of insecurities in our relationship. You know that, and I know that. We know that we love eachother... it's just hard to not have those insecurities when we haven't even met. *sigh* It bothers me alot. I love you so much... and I worry that all of this is going to go away someday. But I was thinking today... even if things don't work out the way we want then to in the future, I hope we will still be really good friends. I don't wanna think about that though... because I do wanna be with you... and I do love you. I do. It's been weird... I think I've been sorta numb this past week. I haven't cried at all... I feel like I should... and I feel like I need too, but I just haven't been able too. I had a few moments here and there, and a whole bunch of pangs of wanting to text you, or email you or something... but I also needed some space. I'm sorry, I love you, Sarah

Hi baby. I missed you. The past week has been kinda boring and weird for me. I just wanted to hear from my girl. And I kinda felt unwanted, un-needed. Sometimes I'd even wonder if you missed me. I wanted to e-mail or text you, but you did say that you wanted a time-out...I respect that baby, but like I said, I just wasn't so happy about it. I remember it would be pretty tough during the night-time, cuz I would just be laying in bed thinking about you, thinking what you were doing or if you were just ok. I really didn't do much during the week. I mostly just played some PS2 and during the night-time around midnight or so, sometimes I'd just watch some cable here in the dining room. I'm just not used sleeping so early and I kinda missed getting online to reply to your email and stuff.... I'm sorry. I love you, F.B.

You did upset me... you know that issue is touchy with me, and I don't like talking about it. I'm glad we talked on the phone, and at least hearing your voice helped me to calm down after awhile... though I'm sorry I hung up on you at first. Aw, I made you cry too? I'm sorry baby... I can't help it... you did upset me. It's just touchy with me. You know I just don't like the way that girl acts/acted around you, even if she does it with everyone. And you saying that to me... I dunno baby I still don't get it. I just worry... I wanna be the only girl for you... I wanna be the only one that gets your attention. And it's selfish and I'm jealous- like you, yes... I can't help it. And you telling me that... I just don't get it baby. Why can't you tell her happy birthday in school? Why a text? It seems so personal that she should know your phone number. I dunno, maybe it's more common there for all your classmates to have eachother's cell phone numbers. But here... I don't give my number out usually... not even to co-workers. I just felt let down, I can't explain it... and I'm sorry if you don't understand or think I'm making a big deal. That's just how I feel. I don't want you to get personal with some other girl... and I worry that you like her... or something, I dunno. It's just... you're the shy guy, you've told me that... so I worry that you wanna text some other girl. That's why I said I don't get it... I know you don't like her like that, I just can't help worrying... and this problem on top of the stress from work and everything, just really really upset me. You did hurt me. I don't like talking about her. And it doesn't seem like we agree on how to handle that situation, so that's why I said that I didn't want you to mention her to me unless I asked, because it just upsets me. I hung up the phone because I was angry with you and then I just cried real hard for awhile. But then I missed you and I felt bad for hanging up with you and leaving things like that... and I need you baby... you're my boy... you're my best friend, I hate when things are messed up between us, I don't like feeling like that either.... I just need you, I need to be near you, and I need to be close to you, I needed to hear your voice, I wanted you to make everything better baby... and you know I love you, you dork... I can't help that, Sarah

I'm sorry I got you upset baby. That was really stupid of me. I still feel kinda bad about hurting you like that. You were really crying on the phone. That made me cry too, ya know. I'm so sorry. I just feel like a bad boyfriend and I guess I deserved it when you hung up the phone on me...You love me, I was just thinking that, cuz you called even though you were mad at me. It was nice that we got to talk and make up baby. I'm sorry...I love you. -F.B.