Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Relationship Struggles & Home Sickness.

F.B & I have been having relationship issues lately. The long distance thing becomes a struggle sometimes. And we go through these periods after we've been together in person, where it becomes harder to communicate. Lately we've haven't been meeting as often for our "dates" online on the weekends. Partly my fault. Sometimes I'm so exhausted after a full work week and I want to sleep in on the weekend. Or I'm feeling depressed and don't feel like I can communicate through instant messenger. It's been harder to communicate lately, through email & instant messenger. Sometimes I feel like I have nothing to say to him. It's hard when you can't be a part of each other's daily lives... can't experience all the little things together... it's hard when you have to relate your entire day through email... in order to maintain a relationship, instead of just cuddling up at the end of the day... together.

Our relationship feels a bit stagnant right now... and there's still 4 1/2 more months until my trip back to the Philippines, until we get to be together again. There's also issues we are dealing with; the fact F.B. is still struggling to find employment a year after he graduated college. Stress on me with saving up money for our future and just feeling like we are never going to be together for good... where are we going? I've just been having these feelings lately and that always seems to happen after we've been together and then have to go through the long distance "separation" phase again. It's just been tough the past 2 months and we are struggling somewhat to get back on track... because in long distance relationships it's all about staying in touch and having good communication... it's something you have to work at every day.

In other news, this will be the first time I'll be staying in the Philippines 2 months. My past trips, I've only stayed 3 weeks, which was the limit I could stay on my passport. I'm still worried about my passport... I have to contact the Philippine Consulate in August to make sure they are still mailing it out in September and haven't forgotten about it. (Visa Issues)

Whenever I'm in the Philippines for awhile I'll go through a moment of culture shock and homesickness. The first year this happened first when I got my period and discovered there were no tampons! I was also homesick on Christmas Day, when we went to the mall to have lunch. There were just hundreds of people & familes at the mall on Christmas Day & it was just a bit of a culture shock to me because at home the malls are closed on Christmas Day & everyone stays home with their families.

In January I had a homesickness moment too. It was the first time I was away from my new pet ratties and the previous year I had went to the Philippines my Ferret Nippy had been sick with cancer and when I returned home I had been too tired to see her. When I woke up the next morning I went to say hello to her and she had passed away in the night. So it was kind of hard being away from my new pets because I was afraid of the same thing happening...

I also had another culture shock when I hurt my knee and we were looking for an 'Ace' bandage, I had to explain to F.B. what it was; "Those tan stretchy bandages with the metal clips." before he knew what I meant. (I know Ace is a brand in the USA. But pretty much everyone calls those tan bandages an 'Ace' bandage in the USA.) We finally found one in Mercury Drug, but they are called 'Elastic' bandages in the Philippines, haha. I was feeling so homesick that night we went to eat at Friday's because it was somewhere familiar to me except the price of Friday's in the Philippines is just crazy! We experienced this the first time we went to Friday's in the Philippines, haha. Normally F.B. & I can go and eat at a sit down place for around $10 or less between us. But Friday's is so expensive! My salmon plate alone cost $17! We ended up splitting the bill.

So... I wonder what it will be like staying in a foreign country for 2 months. I'm sure I'll have some homesickness & culture shock moments. But at least they'll make interesting blogs!
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